My eyes are a river-filler

Je voudrais déplacer et oublier toi. 

I tried to write this in French, but seems too hard plus I can't put my words right. I'm too vulnerable to write in Finnish either. Feels like 2010 all over again, different person leaving me for different reasons, but I almost want to ask why me again. Because again I've done nothing wrong. I've dated someone once and ending that was so much easier than how my friendships tend to turn out sometimes. I'm happy I have people I can trust no matter what, to whom I can cry when it feels too tough. One of them put me out of my mind this morning though, waking up to a text telling you someone wants to die is not the best way to start a day. But they apologized and explained. And I no longer question her love to me, and not only does she love me, but also God through her. It's been five years since I accidentally found her and she says it was God that sent me to her. Sometimes I can believe that too. There must have been a reason we found each other, as we are quite literally perfect for each other. I'm getting out of my original track which is actually good as I've missed you enough for this night. Here's hoping I'll actually start to accept the facts and go on. I'm not too stable emotionally now, just need to get these things out. I miss you. I don't know how I feel about you. I unconditionally love you. I'll get over you and stop being this drama queen. I'll figure you and us out. You're my best friend.


"There is no fear in love, perfect love casts out fear." - 1 John 4:18